Wednesday, November 19, 2008

We Lost The Baby. (My 3 Word Response)

Psalm 19:14 (NASB)
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer."

Last Thursday was Mrs. WretchedSinner's first OB appointment since we found out we were pregnant 10+ weeks ago.  We were quite excited at the  prospect of another addition to our family, and this would make 4 children in 5 years...I guess you can say we like it a bit crazy around the house. :)

We had grand plans, we planned out how we were going to move the boys around to sleep in the same room and we were already picking out names.  Sure, we experienced some trouble with Super George but we knew God would be faithful again and His will would be done in this situation as well.  We prayed a bit, but as I reflect back I realize I was really taking the whole thing for granted.   So much so that I didn't go with my wife to her first OB appointment.  I haven't misssed many (actually I can't think of one) OB appointment's with our first 3 children, but I "needed" to be at work that day.  Then I got the call.

My cell rang, I answered it expecting to hear some great news.  There was a pause.  My wife was almost speechless, but in her typical gracefull manner she said, "Are you busy?"  I knew something was wrong.  She began to cry.  "The Dr. can't find the baby's heart...pause...the think the baby is dead.  They are sending me to get another ultrasound"   

I immediately found out where they were sending her, and ran out of the office.  I made some quick phone calls to two of my most trusted friends for prayer and guidance and then called my wife to talk to her on the way 30 minute ride to the Dr.'s office. 

Now I need to pause a minute to illustrate how the Lord is so amazing and how He was preparing us for this.

At the previous week's Wed night bible study at my church I sat in with the youth group.  My buddy MKB was sharing on Creation vs. Evolution and (as is typical) the youth kind of took it in another direction.  I'm really not sure how it ended up there, but the discussion moved towards questions of why things happen to us as believers...good or bad.

This has been part of my study as of late, so I chimed in and tried to tie it all back together with the topic at hand.   I asked the youth, "Why did God make us?"  After a few blank stares and some silence I said, "Three Words...For...His...Glory!".   I immediatley followed up with "Why do good things happen to us?  I'll give you a hint, it's 3 words."  They responded back "For His Glory!"  Now for the hard part of the mini lesson.  I asked them, "OK then, now I need to ask you why "bad" things happen?  Why is there pain and sadness?"  They paused.  They knew the answer, but I think they were afraid to say it at first.  I gave them the same "3 word" hint and they responded, "For His Glory!"

Little did I know I was going to be on this side of that mini lesson just a few days later.  I knew the answer to "why", and it was so simple and beautiful. I didn't desire to challenge the Holy God and creator of the universe to provide me (a wretched unworthy sinner) with questions or explainations.  It was clear...this happened for His Glory!   And with or w/o my help God would be glorified through this.   Did I know how He would be glorified?  Nope.   Did I care how He would be glorified?  Nope.  Did knowing this make my wife an I less sad?   Nope.  Did knowing this make me cry any less at thoughts of what could have been? Nope.  Did knowing that answer provide me with the real understanding and a senstivity to be able to see how God was using it right in the midst of this challenge?  You betcha.  
We serve an amazing and Holy God, the best thing we can do to give Him the Glory He deserves is to fully submitting to His will in our lives. 

All praise and Glory to God!


Teri Campbell said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

God Bless,

The Wretch said...

I now understand what you meant when you said your story would be the opposite approach of my post. I can not imagine the heartache of loosing a child. Like you said "For His Glory!" I found this to be quite encouraging, your family will be in my prayers. I will repeat it again, all for His Glory!

Noiz said...

I am already in prayer for you and your wife. I know it to be a tough thing to loose a child during pregnancy. But God is sovereign even over the things we don't like nor understand completely. FOR HIS GLORY!

Shannon said...

My husband and I have suffered through three miscarriages. It is through those times of heartache that God drew us closer to Him.

Earlier this year, when we attended Together For the Gospel, John Piper spoke about how we need to be prepared for suffering and what our response will be to it. Not because there might be suffering, but because there will be suffering.

May you and your wife heal and find your comfort in Him.

Richelle said...

I am very sorry for your loss. I am also very encouraged by your submission to God's will. I know it is at times difficult to understand. You are a rarity, one who submits so willingly. To God be the GLORY! God Bless YOU!

Josh Mitchell said...

To God be the glory! Bro please accept our condolences, the same thing happened to us about two months ago. Right when baby was due, she was stillborn, her heart stopped. It knocked us around as a family and I resigned from all ministry to help my wife cope. Bro keep your chin up, the pain does get easier. S D G.

Rachel Marini said...

I hope you don't mind, the Mrs. told me about your blog. All I can say is that I was so encouraged by this post. Why are we created? For His glory. Why do good things happen to us? For His glory. Why do bad things happen to us? For His glory. The way you summed this up and put it into such simple terms is amazing and quite honestly, life changing.

As I read your post, my mind went to a verse in the Gospels and I had to look it up to find the exact reference:
John 9:1-3
"1As [Jesus] went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
3"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

May the works of God be displayed in my life and your own!

God bless,