"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer."
Last Thursday was Mrs. WretchedSinner's first OB appointment since we found out we were pregnant 10+ weeks ago. We were quite excited at the prospect of another addition to our family, and this would make 4 children in 5 years...I guess you can say we like it a bit crazy around the house. :)
We had grand plans, we planned out how we were going to move the boys around to sleep in the same room and we were already picking out names. Sure, we experienced some trouble with Super George but we knew God would be faithful again and His will would be done in this situation as well. We prayed a bit, but as I reflect back I realize I was really taking the whole thing for granted. So much so that I didn't go with my wife to her first OB appointment. I haven't misssed many (actually I can't think of one) OB appointment's with our first 3 children, but I "needed" to be at work that day. Then I got the call.
My cell rang, I answered it expecting to hear some great news. There was a pause. My wife was almost speechless, but in her typical gracefull manner she said, "Are you busy?" I knew something was wrong. She began to cry. "The Dr. can't find the baby's heart...pause...the think the baby is dead. They are sending me to get another ultrasound"
I immediately found out where they were sending her, and ran out of the office. I made some quick phone calls to two of my most trusted friends for prayer and guidance and then called my wife to talk to her on the way 30 minute ride to the Dr.'s office.
Now I need to pause a minute to illustrate how the Lord is so amazing and how He was preparing us for this.
At the previous week's Wed night bible study at my church I sat in with the youth group. My buddy MKB was sharing on Creation vs. Evolution and (as is typical) the youth kind of took it in another direction. I'm really not sure how it ended up there, but the discussion moved towards questions of why things happen to us as believers...good or bad.
This has been part of my study as of late, so I chimed in and tried to tie it all back together with the topic at hand. I asked the youth, "Why did God make us?" After a few blank stares and some silence I said, "Three Words...For...His...Glory!". I immediatley followed up with "Why do good things happen to us? I'll give you a hint, it's 3 words." They responded back "For His Glory!" Now for the hard part of the mini lesson. I asked them, "OK then, now I need to ask you why "bad" things happen? Why is there pain and sadness?" They paused. They knew the answer, but I think they were afraid to say it at first. I gave them the same "3 word" hint and they responded, "For His Glory!"
Little did I know I was going to be on this side of that mini lesson just a few days later. I knew the answer to "why", and it was so simple and beautiful. I didn't desire to challenge the Holy God and creator of the universe to provide me (a wretched unworthy sinner) with questions or explainations. It was clear...this happened for His Glory! And with or w/o my help God would be glorified through this. Did I know how He would be glorified? Nope. Did I care how He would be glorified? Nope. Did knowing this make my wife an I less sad? Nope. Did knowing this make me cry any less at thoughts of what could have been? Nope. Did knowing that answer provide me with the real understanding and a senstivity to be able to see how God was using it right in the midst of this challenge? You betcha.
We serve an amazing and Holy God, the best thing we can do to give Him the Glory He deserves is to fully submitting to His will in our lives.
All praise and Glory to God!